RANDOMNESS
by Dave the psychotic chipmunk
Summary: I was really bored in Life Skills so I thought RANDOMNESS! And here it is... I don't actually get the ratings here so its going to be a T Enjoy the randomness!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello this is my first PJO fan fiction. And my first REALLY random one. So please expect randomness! Now get some cookies and read, my little chipmunks, READ!**

**Really sorry about the last update. Something went wrong and only half was published. Sorry…**

**Hope you like**

One day, Percy was walking around Camp Half-Blood when he saw Reyna eating a goldfish. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed and pushed her into the lake. Then he picked up the goldfish and threw it in to the lake after Reyna.

Then Annabeth came along doing gangnam style. Ares was running after her in slow-motion saying: "Annabeth! The guinea pigs will eat you!" then a giant ant jumped out of the water and ate him.

Hera teleported into camp and killed the ant. Hestia burnt the camp down because she was cold and wanted to warm up. Then all the campers had no place to live so they got chucked out into the mortal world.

An army of giant ants stampeded the camp doing the Harlem shake. Jack and Rose from Titanic cruised into the Empire State building singing a song from The Lion King.

Reyna showed up riding the Minotaur and hugging a kidnapped Octavian, rode after them shouting "I love you Jack!" (Cue fangirling Reyna) when Rose brought out a Bazooka and shot Octavian.

All the campers went to Sally's house and ate blue chocolate chip cookies.

Paul jumped into the kitchen dragging a unicorn and saying "Annabeth will you marry me!?" Sally and Percy and Hera ran after him, killing him for being unfaithful. Annabeth stayed behind, hyperventilating.

Artemis ran around killing Apollo. (nothing new there then) Hera fell in love with Simon Cowell then, desperaste to impress him, turned into energy and Simon died. Everyone cheered.

The Doctor came in the TARDIS and chucked a little kid wearing a gas mask towards Katie Gardener, who converted into a empty child (watch doctor who, 9th doctor to understand). "Oops" said the Doctor and regenerated into someone who looked like Luke. The demigods didn't realise he had regenerated and thought the Doctor had been Luke all along. They got very angry and killed the Doctor so much there wasn't enough of him to go to the under world. Rose Tyler started crying. Then Pete teleported her over to his world. Hades saw that the doctor didn't go into the underworld so he had an idea and sliced all of the dead people up. The under world was very empty so Hades was fired. He started crying and when he saw Demeter and Persephone was having a party he killed them and had an idea. If he killed everyone he would be able to have his job back. Hades went mental and killed every one but then he killed Percy. Hades, then had every god and demigod and every animal etc. after him. He got locked up in Golden Oak Mental Hospital and met a little girl called Clara. Hades became nicer because he had a friend so he was let out of the hospital with Clara. Hades looked after Clara and made her immortal and they were very happy…..

Then Peeta Mellark came along and ate them all.

Hope you liked this! COOKIES! (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	2. Blue cookies

HOW TO MAKE BLUE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES BY SALLY AND PERCY JACKSON

"Percy?" called Sally. They were both in their apartment, Percy in the living room and Sally in the kitchen. "Yes, Mom?" he called back. "I need to show you something,"

"Does it involve me getting up?"

"Yes Percy"

Percy groaned. Suddenly Sally screamed, "Percy! Quick! Help!" Percy jumped off the sofa and ran into the kitchen "Mom!" He yelled as he skidded to a stop in the kitchen, he saw his mother who stood there, arms folded and smirking. "There wasn't anything wrong," smirked Sally. "It made you get up though." Percy turned to go when Sally grabbed his scruff and pulled him back into the kitchen. "But, you're here now so you can stay." she smiled. Percy groaned again. "I'm making cookies and you are learning to make them." Percy paused. "Fine" he grumbled.

"OK," Sally started pulling ingredients out of cupboards. First she pulled out a yellow tub labelled 'Stuff that looks like de-lumped sick' she set it on the counter and pulled out a bag saying 'Cocaine wanna-be' and grabbed another bag tagged 'It makes Percy hyper' finally she pulled out a bowl. Then she turned to Percy and slowly said: "First put the de-lumped sick in the bowl," He obeyed. "Then add the MYH. (Make You Hyper) and mix" Soon they had a gritty paste. Then they added 'Gross slimy thing' and the 'Cocaine wanna-be' and mixed again. "Now, Percy, how do we make it blue?" asked Sally. Percy thought for a second and saw a butterfly in the garden. "Butterfly!" he squealed. Sally face-palmed. "Percy?" she tried again. "How'd you make it blue?" Percy turned to her and rolled his eyes. "You add a Smurf, duh" Sally clapped. "Well done! Now let's go and hunt for Smurfs!"

3 HOURS LATER

"I got one! I got one!" shouted Percy happily. Sally came over "Let's see," Percy opened his hands so she could see the little blue dwarf. "Yaay! Percy caught a Smurf!" the 'Smurf' stopped struggling. "You think I'm a _Smurf_?" he cried "A _Smurf? _Are you an idiot?" Percy smiled "It speaks!" the Smurf face-palmed.

"I'm not a Smurf." The blue thing said slowly. "I'm a SCHmacaboomumyupspingtabunquzxyp!" Percy blinked. "Smurf!" he cried. "Call me Macaboomum. Maca. Boom, Um" Macaboomum said really slowly. "Macaboomum." Sally and Percy said obediently. "Why do you want me?" Macaboomum asked. "Make Smurf cookies!" cried Percy.

"Why Smurf cookies? Smurfs suck."

"I like Smurfs."

"Their blue."

"I like blue."

"Their tiny. You wont get many cookies outta them."

"No idiot, we want the colour."

"What? So, blue cookies?"

"Yeah!"

"Okaaaaaay, why _blue?_"

"I like blue,"

"So you said"

"Yup blue is cool, someone once said blue was cool, didn't they?"

"No that was fezzes and bowties,"

"Oh ok"

"Why don't you use food colouring? Rather than murder Smurfs?"

"Food colouring?"

"Yeah, it turns food blue."

"Cool! Mom lets use food colouring!"

"What the Hades is food colouring?" asked Sally.

"It turns food blue!" said Percy.

"Does it have Smurfs in?" pressed Sally.

Macaboomum rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever it has Smurfs in,"

"Percy," Sally said "We're going shopping,"

"Yay! Shopping!" Percy exclaimed. "Wait, mom can we keep Macaboomum?"

Sally shook her head. "No Percy," Percy pouted "I'll get you a pet hobo later, okay?" Percy smiled happily. "Yaaay!"

Percy set Macaboomum free. "Come back soon!" he called. Macaboomum didn't reply. He just ran like hell away from the weird kid and naïve mum. Humans were so weird…

**Ok I have no idea what the flip I just wrote… I don't care if you hate it or like it. You clicked on this story and you probably read the summary so you were warned.**

**Thanks to every one who followed.**

**Please leave a review telling me what you think and if you have any ideas say.**

**Also if you have any OCs I have a vague idea of using OCs in one of these stories. Please say:**

**Name:**

**Parent:**

**Looks:**

**Age:**

**Personality:**

**Good or bad:**

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**Thank you my little chipmunk moonicorn army!**

**Byyyyyyyye xxx**


	3. RANDOMNESS WITH DUCKS

"I KNOW A SONG THAT WILL GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NERVES!" shouted Perseus Jackson, the saviour of Olympus, defeater of Gaia, slayer of giants, etc.

Annabeth groaned. She rolled over in their bed (supplied by Hypnos, the god of sleep)

"AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES! I KNOW A SONG THAT WILL GET. ON YOUR NERVES, GET ON YOUR NEVRES, GET ON YOUR NEVRES, AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"

"what do you WANT!" Annabeth screamed at him, finally sitting up.

Percy stopped parading around the room and stood looking at her. "Food" he pouted. "You woke me up for food?!" Annabeth asked, her grey eyes narrowing. Percy gulped. "Um, um..." she was still glowering at him. The same glower she used on Gaia when she'd told her she despised her.

Percy thought fast. "The... The... Kitchen is on fire!" he tried. She looked at him. "so why didn't you put it out? Your the kid of the water god" she put emphasis on the last part. "ohhhhhh, yeah."

"There's an evil duck in there, he has really evil eyes, they're like, like, um, Mr Ds!" Thunder rumbled. "Oops" Annabeth sighed. "Fine Ill go sort out the evil duck..." she got up and went downstairs. She walked into the kitchen...

"HOLY HERAS HERNIS!" she screamed. Thunder went ballistic up in the sky. "well I'm gunna get a herd of cows for that," she grumbled. Percy was upstairs, listening to the strange bangs and crashes from the kitchen. "PERCY CALL LEO!" Annabeth screamed. "WHY" Percy screamed back, his voice actually higher than Annabeth's "THERE IS A FREAKING DUCK ON FREAKING FIRE DOWN HERE, SO BLOODY CALL HIM!"

Five minutes later, Leo stood outside the Jackson's house listening to the bangs and screams going from within. It was so loud the house seemed to be rocking side to side with noise, as seen in cartoons. Leo loved them. He still watched them, when Calypso wasn't making him do things. Calypso was awesome. He had remade Festus and flown all the way to Ogygia. He had stumbled off Festus into her arms. She'd smiled down at him as beautiful as he remembered, and, Gods, ha he remembered. Within minutes they were both on the back of Festus and flying like hell away from the island. Back to Camp Half-Blood and, after a short introduction to the seven ( Piper was pleased, Jason was pleased, frazel were pleased, Percy was slightly uncomfortable! Annabeth was pleased.) and straight into Bunker Nine which Calypso LOVED. Since then, they had actually made Leo and Calypso's Garage. It wa going great and, two months before, June he had proposed. Piper had a happy attack. By happiness not Festus the happy dragon. The wedding was in August. A particularly loud bang inturrupted his thought. Shit! He'd forgotten why he was here. He knocked, then realised that they probably couldn't hear him. So, Leo being Leo, he got a crowbar from his still-present tool belt and proceeded to hack the door down. Too late he realised, a, the door was reinforced steel in case any monsters came knocking and b, he had a key. He quickly stepped inside. The shouting was even louder in here. If possible. he ran to the kitchen. Annabeth was on the floor wrestling with a flaming duck... Leo stared. "ummmmm" he blinked. Yep, duck-on-fire was still there. He leaned down and grabbed the duck. His immunity to fire helped as the duck flailed around. A lot.

Leo looked into the glaring eyes of the duck and saw himself. A loner who had the ability to set him self on fire. And immunity too as the duck was fine. Leo smiled. Annabeth got up shakily. "Thanks," she murmured slightly dazed. "Where's Percy?" "IDK," replied Leo. "Could get rid of the duck please?" she said, back to her normal self. "Sure, he's mine now." Annabeth smiled. "I'm sure Cal will love that."

Merrily, Leo skipped off to the garage where he lived down the road. With a flaming duck under his arm.

They're all about twenty. Btw.

Hope you like. I did an extra long one for being away so long. Thanks to everyone who liked especially hermione-and-annabeth. I hope I got that right.

Bye my little chipmunk moonicorn army!


End file.
